El Chapo

Eventually the tunnel was discovered, so Chapo shifted tactics once again, this time by going into the chili-pepper business. He opened a cannery in Guadalajara and began producing thousands of cans stamped “Comadre Jalapeños,” stuffing them with cocaine, then vacuum-sealing them and shipping them to Mexican-owned grocery stores in California. He sent drugs in the refrigeration units of tractor-trailers, in custom-made cavities in the bodies of cars and in truckloads of fish (which inspectors at a sweltering checkpoint might not want to detain for long). He sent drugs across the border on freight trains, to cartel warehouses in Los Angeles and Chicago, where rail spurs let the cars roll directly inside to unload. He sent drugs via FedEx. –via the greatest longread about the cocaine business I’ve read since Snowblind.

The arc of the universe bends towards….

The momentum is clearly now in the direction in finding some way to … accommodate and deal with reality. And the reality is going to be that in a number of American states — and it will be more after 2014 — gay relationships will be legal, period,” Gingrich told The Huffington Post in a story published on Thursday.

Gingrich “continued to profess a belief that marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman,” Sam Stein and Jon Ward report, but “suggested that the party (and he himself) could accept a distinction between a ‘marriage in a church from a legal document issued by the state’ — the latter being acceptable.”


2024 Georgia, United States. 

Newt sits with his seventh wife in his palatial state and points somewhere in the middle distance down the road. “Look, I accept that gay people are getting married, but there should be a distinction between being married in a church, and being married in the church I go to.”

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The cruel march of progress

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“…the Double Sensation is so named because it features not one but two rings of crust. The outer ring is stuffed with melted mozzarella, parmesan, and cheddar cheeses which ooze out at intermittent holes in the crust, while the inner ring is filled with chicken sausage with bits of cheese inside.

But that’s not all! The inner pizza features smoked chicken and zucchini on an pepper Alfredo sauce and the outer ring is topped with turkey ham, bell peppers, and mushrooms, on a salsa sauce. And, for some odd reason, the pizza is finished with a single cherry in the center…”

Instead of picking up chicks with my new flying car we’ve spent the last 50 years investing in new technological advances solely for cat litter and pizza.